NEW YORK — Big Buddy had a copy of the New York Times when he returned to Casa de Buddy after doing errands on Friday and made a big show of reading the broadsheet over lunch.
“Oh, that’s interesting,” the human remarked.
Little Buddy’s ears twitched, but he didn’t stir from his catnap.
“Wow,” Big Buddy said. “How about that? Muscle-building supplements for cats!”
Little Buddy sprang up.
“What did you say, human?”
“It says right here,” Big Buddy said, pointing to an article about a senate hearing. “See? This headline says ‘For Cats, Finally Supplements On Par With Their Human Counterparts.’ Then it says a whole bunch of stuff about a company that’s developing muscle-building supplements for felines, just like the supplements humans can take.”
Gears turned in the feline’s head as he considered what he’d been told.
“You mean these ‘supplements’ can, like, make my meowscles more bigger and stuff?” Little Buddy asked.
His human nodded enthusiastically.
“It’s amazing, actually,” he said. “I didn’t even know fitness supplements for cats were a thing.”
Little Buddy approached, sniffed the paper, chewed on one corner, then pointed a paw at a photo of Arizona Sen. Mark Kelly behind a podium. “Who’s this guy?”
“Ah, that’s the CEO of the new cat muscle-building company,” Big Buddy lied. “He’s very excited to bring the products to market.”
Little Buddy trilled enthusiastically.
“Friend human, we must acquire these meowscle-enhancing ‘supplements’ immediately!”
Big Buddy sighed, doing his best impression of hesitancy.
“I don’t know, Bud,” he said. “You’re already pretty huge and ripped.”
The gray tabby flexed.
“It’s true, I’m the Arnold Schwarzenmeower of cats,” he said. “But my meowscles could be even bigger! I’d be like a superhero, but a cat. A super cat hero. Or a superhero cat!”
The larger Buddy gave his pal a contemplative look.
“The world might not be ready for that, little dude.”
Little Buddy’s tail thumped the coffee table. “Friend human! We absolutely must acquire these ‘supplements’ the moment they become available. It’s of paramountic importance!”
“Okay, okay! You win.”
The feline’s tail quivered and he smiled triumphantly.
“By the way, friend human,” he asked, “what’s this new meowscle medicine called?”
“Ozempic.”
via Pain In The Bud